Conspiracy

The army of poison princesses continues the assault on me. The army works to develop new weapons to use against me. The army works secretly and efficiently. I am not sure if they know that I know…

The new weapons are designed with such genius that I have to respect the effort. They have designed a way to get me to poison myself. Yes, you read that right. They are a tricky bunch.

A couple of ways they have conspired to get me to do their dirty work are lotions, dish soap, shampoo, body wash and deodorant. They have slowly but surely infiltrated all of the companies that produce these products to continue their assault. Their desire to cause me pain continues.

Every product that I buy has to be carefully sniffed. Each lotion and dish soap is first visually inspected for any indication of a floral scent. The labels don’t always indicate the presence of foul floral. I avoid those with obvious signs on the labels; lavender, rose, flowers of any sort. The others are a little more difficult. They hide the horrible odors behind names like “ocean breeze” or “tropical clean” or “fresh surf.”

After a visual inspection of the label, I prepare for the most dangerous inspection; the sniff. Hesitantly, I open the product. Slowly, I bring the product closer to my nose. I fight the urge to just put it down and run. Using small, small sniffs, I inhale the scent. Most of the time the sniff is followed by an immediate and painful reaction. Sometimes, I am surprised by a wonderful smell. The wonderful smell is rare. Most of the time their plan succeeds. I end up in pain.

They are getting better and better with their schemes. Many times I am tricked and run for a dark, cool room with medication in hand. But, I am also getting to know how they operate, and am ever watchful.